Good Morning, Tony: Where Modernity Meets African Culture — By Prof. Adesoji Adesugba

A brief exchange lasting only a few seconds has sparked a much larger national conversation about respect, culture and the kind of young Nigerians we are raising for an increasingly globalised world.

The incident occurred at a graduation ceremony in Lagos for United Bank for Africa’s Graduate Management Accelerated Programme, where 374 young professionals were celebrated after completing one of the continent’s highly competitive corporate training programmes.

During an interactive session, a young female graduate stood up and greeted the Group Chairman, Tony Elumelu, saying, “Good morning, Tony.”

Elumelu initially appeared to mishear her, responding, “Toyin? Toyin?” When she repeated the greeting, he corrected her. He explained that she could address him as Mr Elumelu, TOE or Chairman, but not Tony, because he did not subscribe to what he described as an “Oyinbo life.”

The young woman accepted the correction respectfully, addressed him as “Mr Elumelu” and continued with her question.

The video quickly spread across social media, generating sharply divided opinions. Some Nigerians praised Elumelu for clearly stating how he preferred to be addressed. Others felt that he unnecessarily embarrassed a young woman who may simply have been following the informal communication style encouraged in modern corporate environments.

For me, however, the issue goes far beyond Tony Elumelu. It is fundamentally about culture, respect and what we teach the younger generation.

Respect as a Cultural Value

The real question is not whether English allows a young person to call an older person by their first name. Of course it does. The more important question is whether we should be sensitive enough to understand the cultural setting and choose an appropriate form of address.

I believe young people should learn to read the room and show respect. At the same time, I do not believe the young woman should be condemned for what appears to have been a momentary lapse in social judgement.

For many Nigerians, respect for elders was an important part of upbringing. An elderly person did not have to be your biological parent before you treated them with respect. Your father’s friend could be an elder. Your teacher was an elder. An elderly neighbour was an elder.

In many communities, unrelated adults were addressed as Uncle, Auntie, Mama, Papa, Brother or Sister. These terms were not simply about family relationships. They reflected a broader understanding that raising a child was a responsibility shared by the community.

This is captured in the widely known African idea that it takes a village to raise a child. Across different African cultures, the principle is similar: children grow within communities, and communities play a role in shaping their character.

The same philosophy can be seen in the Southern African concept of Ubuntu — the belief that our humanity is connected to that of others.

Age, Seniority and Courtesy

African societies are diverse, so there is no single African culture. However, many communities share an important principle: age and seniority come with certain expectations of courtesy.

Among the Yoruba, for example, traditional greetings often involve gestures that demonstrate respect for elders. Among the Igbo, Hausa and many other Nigerian communities, respectful greetings and forms of address also communicate age, status and relationship.

These practices should not be dismissed as outdated. They teach children that they are part of a society that existed before them and that other people have experiences from which they can learn.

Respect encourages humility, patience, emotional intelligence and social awareness. These qualities are just as important in today’s boardroom as they were in the traditional family compound.

The Influence of Modern Corporate Culture

There is, however, another side to the argument.

Many international companies deliberately encourage employees to address one another by their first names, regardless of age or position. The idea is that reducing visible hierarchy can encourage openness, confidence and honest communication.

It is therefore possible that the young graduate had been trained to communicate this way. She may have simply applied what she had learned in a modern corporate environment.

This is why the incident should not be treated as an excuse to insult or ridicule her.

Cultural expectations differ from one environment to another. What is perfectly normal in London or New York may be viewed differently in Lagos.

Research into cultural differences helps explain this. Geert Hofstede’s concept of “power distance” describes the extent to which societies accept differences in power and status. Nigeria has traditionally been regarded as having a relatively high level of power distance compared with countries such as the United States and the United Kingdom.

In other words, respect for seniority is not merely a personal preference in Nigeria. It is deeply connected to our social culture.

Cultural Intelligence Works Both Ways

This is where I disagree with those who have been harshly critical of the young woman.

I would not describe her as insolent, and I certainly would not make the issue about gender. Young men and young women should be held to the same standards of courtesy.

She addressed a senior person in a way he considered inappropriate. He corrected her. She accepted the correction. The matter could have ended there.

We should also ask ourselves whether cultural adaptation should always work in only one direction.

When we visit Japan, the Middle East or other parts of the world, we are expected to learn and respect local customs. Africans travelling abroad often adapt quickly to the cultural expectations of their hosts.

Why, then, should Africans always be expected to abandon their own traditions in order to appear modern?

There is nothing backward about an African choosing to address an older person respectfully. Modernity does not require cultural amnesia.

True cultural intelligence means understanding different environments and knowing how to behave appropriately in each one.

If a chief executive says, “Please call me Tony,” then there is no problem with doing so. But where there is uncertainty, starting with a formal form of address is usually the safer and more respectful choice. Familiarity can always be offered later.

Tradition and Modernity Can Coexist

We sometimes make the mistake of treating African traditions and modern professional culture as opposites. They are not.

Western societies themselves have many systems of respect and protocol. Judges, military officers, diplomats and political leaders all have recognised forms of address and conduct. Even modern corporations maintain professional standards.

Every society develops customs that communicate relationships and expectations. Africa should not abandon its own simply because some of them did not originate elsewhere.

A young Nigerian can work successfully in Lagos, London, New York, Johannesburg or Tokyo while still understanding where he or she comes from.

However, there is an important responsibility that older generations must also recognise.

Traditional respect was never supposed to give elders unlimited power to mistreat younger people. Elders were expected to demonstrate wisdom, fairness, restraint, good character and responsibility.

We cannot demand respect from young people while humiliating them, abusing authority or exploiting their vulnerability.

Respect must therefore work in both directions. Young people should recognise experience and seniority, while older people should behave in ways worthy of that respect.

What Are We Teaching the Next Generation?

This controversy raises a much bigger question.

Today’s young Nigerians are growing up in a world where Lagos, London, New York, Seoul and Los Angeles are only a smartphone away. Their language, entertainment, education and workplaces are increasingly global.

That is not necessarily a bad thing.

But who is teaching them what is uniquely Nigerian?

Who explains to a Yoruba child why greetings matter? Who teaches an Igbo child the importance of recognising elders? Who explains to a Hausa child the values contained in traditional forms of courtesy?

If families do not pass these values on, young people will learn from somewhere else.

We should not raise our children for a world that no longer exists. We should prepare them for the world that is coming while ensuring they understand who they are.

Let them learn technology and artificial intelligence. Let them speak excellent English. Let them study and work anywhere in the world. Let them challenge ideas and question authority when necessary.

But let us also teach them humility.

Teach them to greet.

Teach them to recognise age and experience.

Teach them that confidence and courtesy are not opposites.

Most importantly, teach them that respect should not depend on wealth or social status.

Respect Is Not the Same as Deference to Power

This is perhaps the most important distinction in the entire debate.

If we insist that a young person must respectfully address a billionaire but allow that same person to disrespect an elderly security guard, market woman, driver or cleaner, then we are not teaching respect.

We are teaching deference to power.

True respect should apply to everyone.

The elderly security guard deserves courtesy. The old woman selling vegetables deserves courtesy. The retired teacher deserves courtesy. The village elder deserves courtesy. The successful businessman deserves courtesy.

Respect should not be determined by someone’s bank account.

The Lesson We Should Take Away

I see something positive in this controversy—not because a young woman was corrected, and not because a powerful man proved a point, but because it has given Nigerians an opportunity to discuss what respect really means.

The world our children will inherit is global, but they do not have to enter it culturally empty-handed.

They can understand both “Good morning, Tony” and “Good morning, Mr Elumelu” and have enough cultural intelligence to know when each is appropriate.

We should not imprison our children in tradition, but neither should we liberate them from their identity.

Let us teach them technology and tradition, confidence and courtesy, freedom and responsibility, modernity and memory.

The African child we should strive to raise is not one who fears elders. It is one who respects others, understands context, knows where he or she comes from and can walk confidently into any room in the world without losing that identity.

That, to me, is the enduring lesson hidden within two simple words: “Good morning, Tony.”

Prof. Adesoji Adesugba is a Development Economist and Education Management Expert. He is the Founder of the Business Entrepreneurship, Skills and Technology (BEST) Centre and writes from Abuja, Nigeria.